I remember smoking some cannabis many years ago when I was visiting the island of Kauai. I wasn’t a frequent smoker. In fact I’d had a skeptical relationship with the plant. I was lying under a Plumeria tree and as soon as I felt ‘high’, I started feeling disoriented and panicked about the seemingly ongoing open-endedness of my own existence. Simply experiencing the structureless and infinite possibilities of where to focus my awareness was terrifying. I remember the free-floating panic I was experiencing and I felt overwhelmed with the idea that I had no idea how to direct my focus or my Self, believing that I had no way of knowing how I was supposed to focus my attention, my energy, or myself. I imagined an endless existence with endless possibilities, and no structure to hold or guide me. This provoked such anxiety that I longed for the effect of the marijuana to swiftly wear off and bring me back to the state of mind I was accustomed to . I thought I was doomed to, or trapp
Life is change, energy flows, and attention creates. By the movement of our attention and the choice of our focus, we freshly create our experience in each moment. I've found that when we actively attend and explore through our senses, we bring greater awareness to all aspects of our being and consequently into all areas of our lives. By sharing my personal explorations, observations and experiences I hope to inspire a more vibrant Aliveness in others.