Radical Aliveness

THINKING ABOUT Thinking, (words and language), About, instead of Being, (feeling, experiencing), removes me from my Self .   Sensations & emotions are Being; =experiencing. My Mind... the About   is all about determining right or wrong . ‘Should’ = self-torture “Just agree with Everything!” “I know what   I know .” Life is happening, And it keeps on happening,   there’s nothing we can do about it, but keep on riding that pony!   I am the Pony!

  Tears come when I'm touched by Tenderness And this is how I regulate and re-establish my balance: drawing & text by Harmony Gates

  I woke up the other morning,   once again acutely aware of the fact that I was still searching for a TITLE for myself. One that fit my calling in this life. The title, or term ’Coach’ has always been an option, but has never been a clear fit for me. Adviser, consultant, mentor, teacher, trainer, hostess, facilitator… all these seem to hold an aspect of what I’m about. So I once again my mind suggested and toyed with all of these terms. But none seemed to feel just right. Just like in the story of The Three Bears , all these terms seemed too hot, too cold, too big, too small, too hard, or too soft. I didn’t want to settle until I found a title that felt, Just Right . And none of these comfortably fit me.   So once again I sat with some disappointment and frustration, unable to nail a title that I could sit inside of with complete contentment.   Accepting my failure with a deep sigh, I let go. I let go of the striving and surrendered. I dropped into a quiet stillness.   Then, to my su

  Does emotional intimacy require us to lose ourself ?  Just what allows us to experience Emotionally Secure Human Intimacy?   An aligned, stable, secure, yet open sense of our Self. A self that   is capable of meeting another with openness, warmth, understanding and   resonance.   It is that deep connection where we feel unguarded. Where we feel safe emotionally, and we trust that we are seen, held, and listened to with respect and care. And we want to be a Self that can empathize with others. A self that perceives the feeling state, the experiential state of another, with understanding, caring and compassion.   We want to be able to be emotionally intimate, emotionally caring, emotional resonant, without losing connection with ourselves. And we want the capacity to care deeply about someone, without feeling responsible   to caretake them emotionally.   What may hold us back from this deep communion is our fear of becoming   enmeshed with another.   This is a condition where we lose o

A Description of Contact Improvisation Dance Practice: Achieving inner stillness through attention to, and acute observation of our impulses; our bodily experience. Meeting at the point of touch and exploring, through mutual responsiveness, what movement wants to unfold from an authentic, neutral space Curiously exploring that meeting, that point, that present moment, while maintaining full, unconditional presence. Saying, “YES!” in response to the other, without diminishing our self; without compromising our own authenticity. Surrendering to process, letting go of judgment, of intention, of willfulness. Experiencing a spaciousness that allows full acceptance self and other. As we are. Mutually supporting what is happening. And when there are ‘disconnects’, stopping and waiting. Waiting for that full presence to come into each of us again; for that felt sense of, “Ah yes, you are here, I am here, we meet here.” And in agreement, continuing. Joined, yet separate and individual. Connecti

Mondays with Mike Episode  36   How painful and self-separated we feel when we are believing that we don’t  matter. This is an emotional session for me, Harmony.   I go slow and deep, not just talking about painful emotions, but actually experiencing them in the moment, within the safety of MIke’s caring. He accompanies me with warmth and resonance.   And With this support, I find the safety and holding I need in order to express, grieve, process, and experience resolution The camera was accidentally set to capture only Mike’s presence on the video.   But maybe this was actually providential, because we get to see just how Mike shows his caring attentiveness, which signals to me that he is friendly empathic ally, and enables me to share my raw self so openly and vulnerably.

I have been coaching them as they prepare for marriage, Thinking about my final session with them, it’s clear that they’ve been holding feelings of resentment toward each other.   The following is a portion of my follow-up email with them just after their final session with me. (I’ve used only the first letter of their first names here, to protect their anonymity.): ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Resentment is a feeling we get when we believe we are being treated unfairly.   Fairness is important to both of you, (and FYI, the primate brain is wired to value and desire fairness) In addition, I understood that you, J have been feeling ‘controlled or restricted’ which means that you're wanting to feel more freedom, independence and autonomy. This is not something that C can give you. It is something that you must find a way claim for yourself. How can you feel free, and still make choices that support your relationship with C, and the projects and life t

 

  Discover Resources for Radical Aliveness and Deep Meaningful Relating; Access your Agency and Activate your Aligned, Authentic Awesome Self Together, we focus on self-empowerment, embodiment, self-awareness, self-care, Presence, and other skills and avenues for achieving greater well-being and more frequent and sustained moments of joy and satisfaction. Be supported by a Master who can lead you back to your power:   Reconnecting you with your Body Wisdom; your Wise Inner Guidance Teaching you how to let that guidance lead you. Your Body knows what feels safe, supportive and welcoming. Go Boldly in the direction of your Dreams. http://www.harmonygates.com

Imagine that your life purpose is to live your fullest aliveness.  Imagine that your mission in this life is the creation of your self. Imagine that Joy, Pleasure & Well-Being are your perfect guides. Imagine that you can never get any part of your life wrong. How do you feel?   

Meet Mike Wilson in Wales, UK, & Harmony Gates in CA, USA These sessions are our ongoing explorations of our purpose, mission, vision, & values, as well as subjects such as relationship, self knowledge, perception, self-awareness, self-empowerment, embodiment, trauma healing, and others. Our dialogues are informed by the tools and practices of Non Violent Communication.   IN THIS EPISODE:     ▪ Practicing with the language of NVC ( Non Violent Communication) changes the way we think     ▪ Tenderness, kindness   ▪ How to live in compassion:   ▪ Harmony’s ‘crisis of identity’     ▪ Mike’s similar experience of reaching a pinnacle of financial and career success.   ▪ Can we admit to being unremarkable?   ▪ How to we define ‘work’?   ▪ What does it mean to ‘earn a living’? Resources for Radical Aliveness and Deep Meaningful Relating Access your Agency and Activate your Aligned, Authentic Awesome Self http://www.harmonygates.com #selfawareness

  When I ‘other’ myself, I disconnect from me I feel totally lost and panicked, Alarmed, and alone What do I mean by, ‘othering’ myself?   For me, ‘othering' myself means that my experience of myself, in the moment, is as a kind of object; I’m outside myself looking at myself, and evaluating myself through the eyes of my cultural conditioning. It also occurs in the moments when I am being treated as an object by others. When I’m experiencing myself as an object in my mind, I look in a mirror to evaluate myself. My eye is seeing my reflection and deciding whether to approve of the image I see or not.   In those self-objectifying moments, (sometimes lasting most, if not all of a lifetime), we are disconnected from our self-adoring, self-mattering, self-attuned, awareness. Instead, we are separated from ourselves, looking at ourselves , seeing ourselves through the image-conscious ego; critical, analytical, concerned with how we appear, and how others may see us. We are concerned wit

As a Highly Sensitive Empath, I can easily over identify with another’s emotional state. Attuning to others is automatic for me. Yet I easily fall into others’ emotions, losing myself, losing my own emotional balance and losing perspective. It’s not comfortable nor sustainable. I’ve uncovered an intuitive and instinctive ability that lets me stay connected and present, highly attuned, yet not over-identified with, or engulfed by my own, or others’ emotional states.  I’m able to be aware of and witness difficult or intense emotional states, without being overcome or unbalanced. I remain alert, yet relaxed. I don’t get activated into fight or flight. I’m able to ride these states without being thrown.  I’d love to share this ability with you, and show you how to access it for yourself.  If you could have access to a simple subtle practice that would moderate and eventually free you from emotional roller coaster-ing, yet allow you to have fully alive, emotionally connected, and engaging l

 

  WHERE PLEASURE LIVES   Just now, Letting go   of mental review and prediction, or even naming;   and simply sensing,   or rather aware-ing .   Even the witness disappears, and there is only the experiencer. This is the place where pleasure lives.   The mourning doves come   in these moments. They fly in and directly approach me.   Time disappears,   Ambition disappears.   Needs disappear.   This open ended satisfaction and pleasure- Its Heart Centered- 100% open;   radiating, receiving, being, beaming, Blissing.   Blissing is a verb! This is the ultimate nourishment.   Why would I trade it for less? It is free of effort, free of trying.   Free of directing, free of reaching.   It is having . I can have it all. I can give it all. I can be it all.   Love will hold it all.   Trust, surrender, trust, surrender, trust, surrender.   If it's meant to happen, it will.   And I will know.   Put your arms around me baby,   put your arms around me baby.   Put your arms around me baby.