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contact improv as therapy

Recently a long-time CI dancing friend wrote:

for me c.i. is therapy. it invites all of me to show
up and be, be and explore. it invites me to know
myself and listen to others. i welcome that intention,
i love the way it is my teacher, my therapist, my
friend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I, too regard c.i. dance practice as therapeutic.
Dance has been my pathway to get closer to myself and closer to others.

Through dancing using elements of c.i. with large numbers of people over the past 12 years or so, the majority of whom have had little or no experience with C.I., I have learned how to bring my authentic self into my interactions with others. It is through learning to listen and respond to myself while listening and responding to another in this very physical ‘dance’ form, that I have begun to understand what a sweet and satisfying thing it is to know myself and to know myself in relationship.

Exploring CI has helped me to discover my authentic self, and to bring that self into relationship with others; to offer that self in a supportive way; to allow myself to receive support in every move that my partners’ make; to know that I can give my receiving, (that my receiving is a gift), and I can give my giving, (that my giving is a gift), and that I can receive both someone’s giving and their receiving – as gifts. And that showing up with my full self, and inviting another to show up with her full self, or with the fullest self she can offer, is a delightfully satisfying dance of connection and intimacy for us both.

Offering myself to someone as a partner, and then listening to what ‘game’ that person wants to play, and being willing to follow and feel supported, no matter what ‘game style’ she chooses. Listening to how and when her ‘game’ changes. Bringing my desires and requests to the ‘game’, without demanding. This is what satisfies me and excites me and grows me.

It was astounding to me when I first realized that there could be mutually satisfying interactions between people. That even while I was totally satisfying myself, my partner could be, and WAS totally satisfying herself! That true collaboration did not require that someone sacrifice her desires. And the paradox; inclusion requires flexibility and the willingness to flow and adapt. Autonomy AND community. Independence AND interdependence.

I love CI for giving me a nonverbal way to have a genuine experience of connection with myself while relating with others. I love the very impersonal direct physical feedback it gives. I’m beginning to be able to understand how to listen to myself and others in and through spoken words as well. THIS takes a LOT of practice! ;-)

hugs,
harmony

I'll soon be re-establishing my ‘Shall We Dance?’ class that focuses on this exploration of connection to self and connection in relationship, through the lens of dance and partner movement.
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