Are you exhausting yourself by how you relate with others?

Do you identify yourself as someone who acts co-dependently, as a caretaker, or people pleaser? Do you find that you adjust your ideas Your behavior, your feelings, your actions, your thoughts based on how someone else might react? Do you have trouble knowing what you really want? Do you often feel powerless Or oppressed? Do you have trouble standing up for your needs? Is it hard for you to find your own voice especially in interpersonal relationships? As I was holding a quiet state of presence with a client recently while we were silently connecting through eye contact alone, she was able to notice that her mental processes were working overtime. Reflecting what I perceived in her energy I said, "Its exhausting." And she had the insight that, during this intimate moment between us, when she could have been simply and deeply relaxing into receiving herself, and receiving my embracing attention, instead her mind was frantically working,. It was obsessively searching for an answer to an insistent question. Her inner dialogue kept repeating, "What does she want from me?, What does she need from me?" It's exhausting to relate that way- to be constantly trying to figure out someone else's experience so that you can adjust yourself accordingly. So, if this exhausting pattern is something you can relate to, can you imagine what it would it be like to be free of your concern about how others see or perceive you. What if instead, you could give yourself permission to attend to your own self-connected inner experience, rather than always focusing on, and prioritizing the experience of others?

The client who had this amazing insight about herself asked me to tell her about how I worked with this pattern in myself. How and when I shifted to a healthier, more self-aware and self-caring way of relating to myself and others. This is the short version of my journey: