Radical Aliveness

I remember smoking some cannabis many years ago when I was visiting the island of Kauai. I wasn’t a frequent smoker. In fact I’d had a skeptical relationship with the plant. I was lying under a Plumeria tree and as soon as I felt ‘high’, I started feeling disoriented and panicked about the seemingly ongoing open-endedness of my own existence.   Simply experiencing the structureless and infinite possibilities of where to focus my awareness was terrifying. I remember the free-floating panic I was experiencing and I felt   overwhelmed with the idea that I had no idea how to direct my focus or my Self, believing that I had no way of knowing how I was supposed to focus my attention, my energy, or myself. I imagined an endless existence with endless possibilities, and   no structure to hold or guide me. This provoked such anxiety that I longed for the effect of the marijuana to swiftly wear off and bring me back to the state of mind I was accustomed to .   I thought I was ...

How potent and powerful it is to help people feel met and seen and to calm down, to where they have access to their own answers. There isn't much fixing or helping or advising that needs to happen once we're seen. At least that's my experience.   And I guess it's pretty universal.    My whole focus and intention is really about discovering a deeper way of relating and making connection than most of the world actually experiences, or engages in. Bringing that in. Being part of the wave of bringing that in to the human social cultural structure.   And the thing that happens when we are actually deeply feeling connected and connected with, is that we re-discover our essential selves. We reclaim our personal and spiritual power.   The families we are raised in are a so often dysfunctional. As children we sacrifice our capacity for self connection, mindfulness, awareness and presence, in order to belong. But that connection to our awesome essence is e...

Let it emerge. Don't get enamored with yourself or anybody else. Accept yourself as you are without judgement.  see what is. you have no further problem. (Alan Watts) without judgement Establishing self connection, you can't rush it. wait for it to arise re-finding.... prioritizing allowing myself (In every moment, watch what you are doing, you must be simply, awake and relaxed- A. Watts)  wait for the inspiration you have to not know refining allowing myself (become yourself) Discovery every moment (you have to let yourself happen) not knowing become liberated. Be You, not knowing, not knowing, not knowing, waiting, ready to hear. Don't let repetition ever really be repetition don't go mindless; every repeat is a new movement Don't try to predict your movements. Let them come to you as inspirations; authentically arising movement Catching different parts of the music, whatever part you fancy whatever feels good,...

Achieving inner stillness through attention to, and acute observation of our impulses; our bodily experience. Meeting at the point of touch and exploring, through mutual responsiveness, what movement wants to unfold from an authentic, neutral space Curiously exploring that meeting, that point, that present moment, while maintaining full, unconditional presence. Saying, “YES!” in response to the other, without diminishing our self; without compromising our own authenticity. Surrendering to process, letting go of judgment, of intention, of willfulness. Experiencing a spaciousness that allows full acceptance self and other. As we are. Mutually supporting what is happening. And when there are ‘disconnects’, stopping and waiting. Waiting for that full presence to come into each of us again; for that felt sense of, “Ah yes, you are here, I am here, we meet here.” And in agreement, continuing. Joined, yet separate and individual. Connecting. Co-creating. Communing. Communion. ...

Spontaneous first time recording my dancing. My tech will improve!  :)

-An inquiry into the deeper dynamics of human interaction. In this episode, I share a few experiences and insights about how structural power imbalances and inequalities influence our interactions with each other.   Thoughts on why we may feel hesitant to share our opinions, ideas and reflections verbally in social situations Suggestions for increasing the likelihood that we will experience satisfying verbal interactions with others.   One way we can co-create safe containers for satisfying interactions:   Agree on explicit yet flexible guidelines for our interaction. In advance.   In this way, we create a field of safety for spontaneous, dynamic,  mutually satisfying engagement to arise between and among individuals.   It is possible to: Address and level uneven power dynamics Minimize layers of separation Meet each other authentically, respectfully, and vulnerably, heart to heart Do you collude?   Sel...

How can you handle (unsolicited) advice with care and compassion for the giver, and receive instead the active listening you want instead? Watch to hear more about why we give advice, what we really want, and how to be of greater support to yourself and to others as you look for guidance.

Can practicing Contact Improvisation Dance help us get connected to our Inner Spiritual Guidance? We learn to navigate our physical movement in the world with the assistance of tangible environmental feedback. Cultural conditioning overrides and replaces our inherent inner guidance mechanism. We can reconnect with our inherent inner guidance as we consciously experience movement patterns and energies through practicing Contact Dance. In my own experience, and the experience of my clients, the self-connection we learn to clearly sense in CI can be referenced to find the felt-sense of inner soul knowing. How do we develop an inner compass? With physical movement we learn as infants how to function in a physical world, where the impartial laws of physics guide our organisms through environmental feedback during movement explorations. As we learn to move our bodies, it's mostly a conversation between our bodies and our physical world of objects. Pretty straightforward. But how ...

How comfortable are you when: you are anticipating performing being in front of an audience: to dance, to sing, to speak, to act? You are in the role of teacher? You are on a first date? You realize that you are going to become, or already HAVE BECOME the center of other's attention? If you feel anxious, get ill, or generally experience deep discomfort, this video may give you some insight as to why. It offers a unique viewpoint about what may be happening, and how you may be able to overcome and even CURE your distress in these situations.

Do you identify yourself as someone who acts co-dependently, as a caretaker, or people pleaser? Do you find that you adjust your ideas Your behavior, your feelings, your actions, your thoughts based on how someone else might react? Do you have trouble knowing what you really want? Do you often feel powerless Or oppressed? Do you have trouble standing up for your needs? Is it hard for you to find your own voice especially in interpersonal relationships? As I was holding a quiet state of presence with a client recently while we were silently connecting through eye contact alone, she was able to notice that her mental processes were working overtime. Reflecting what I perceived in her energy I said, "Its exhausting." And she had the insight that, during this intimate moment between us, when she could have been simply and deeply relaxing into receiving herself, and receiving my embracing attention, instead her mind was frantically working,. It was obsessively searching ...

Want to feel more relaxed, spontaneous and confident interacting with others?   So many of us have trauma around human interaction. We lose our center as soon as we encounter and engage with another. Our minds immediately get involved in trying to manage the encounter, and in the process, we lose our spontaneity, our authenticity, ourselves. We can't interact successfully with another person unless we are clearly self-connected and grounded in ourselves.   So how do we achieve that self grounding, that centeredness? In my experience the simple answer is through our body. We can achieve single-minded, self-connected attention and focus by bringing our awareness inward, into our present moment body sensations.   When we focus inwardly on our own kinesthetic experience, our body's sensations, or our own movement as it unfolds, we practice moving with awareness, breathing with awareness, inner energy awareness. When sustaining one of these ...

Waiting for the Invitation - A story of Divine Timing   It can be painful when we are outcasted or 'othered',  especially by someone who's friendship we've enjoyed. But people are human and can be fickle, seemingly stubborn, and opaque.  Despite our best efforts,  sometimes we simply have no control over others' perceptions of us Here a friend witnesses as I tell of, and celebrate a relationship repair.  But wait! Time, growth, grace, whimsey, any and all of these can turn someone around How did I manage it?  I kept my heart open and waited...

I had an exceptionally satisfying experience yesterday, participating in our local, monthly Berkeley Contact Improvisation Dance 'Underscore', hosted by Vitali Kononov This is basic overview of the 'Underscore': The score observes states that occur in the practice of Contact Improvisation and improvisational dance practices and follows the stages of arrival, development, and resolution that naturally tend to occur at Contact Improv Jams as well as other improvisational contexts, hence the name suggests the underpinnings of our practice. After the initial "circle" of verbal check-ins, the score is done without speaking until the "Harvest" time of sharing reflections of individual experience. In our local version, we are invited, during the opening circle, to set and perhaps share our intentions for our 2.5 hour group dance exploration. And Vitali invites those who wish, after we disengage, before we verbally 'harvest', to w...

Using self-inquiry, I unpack a recent personal interaction and mine it for insight, understanding, and deeper self awareness. *Can we impede another's learning by 'rescuing' them from a situation we believe is harmful to them? *Might the insights I share here may make us more effective and helpful as coaches/ advisors/ friends? * When something feels extremely alarming to us... is that the moment to take action? *Are you ever tempted to defer your decisions to an expert? *Who can we trust to know our reality? I'd love to hear your thoughts...have you been the experiencer of any aspect of the story I share? How or what did you do? What did you learn? Let me know!