Radical Aliveness

  Does emotional intimacy require us to lose ourself ?  Just what allows us to experience Emotionally Secure Human Intimacy?   An aligned, stable, secure, yet open sense of our Self. A self that   is capable of meeting another with openness, warmth, understanding and   resonance.   It is that deep connection where we feel unguarded. Where we feel safe emotionally, and we trust that we are seen, held, and listened to with respect and care. And we want to be a Self that can empathize with others. A self that perceives the feeling state, the experiential state of another, with understanding, caring and compassion.   We want to be able to be emotionally intimate, emotionally caring, emotional resonant, without losing connection with ourselves. And we want the capacity to care deeply about someone, without feeling responsible   to caretake them emotionally.   What may hold us back from this deep communion is our fear of becoming   enmeshed wi...

A Description of Contact Improvisation Dance Practice: Achieving inner stillness through attention to, and acute observation of our impulses; our bodily experience. Meeting at the point of touch and exploring, through mutual responsiveness, what movement wants to unfold from an authentic, neutral space Curiously exploring that meeting, that point, that present moment, while maintaining full, unconditional presence. Saying, “YES!” in response to the other, without diminishing our self; without compromising our own authenticity. Surrendering to process, letting go of judgment, of intention, of willfulness. Experiencing a spaciousness that allows full acceptance self and other. As we are. Mutually supporting what is happening. And when there are ‘disconnects’, stopping and waiting. Waiting for that full presence to come into each of us again; for that felt sense of, “Ah yes, you are here, I am here, we meet here.” And in agreement, continuing. Joined, yet separate and individual. Connecti...

Mondays with Mike Episode  36   How painful and self-separated we feel when we are believing that we don’t  matter. This is an emotional session for me, Harmony.   I go slow and deep, not just talking about painful emotions, but actually experiencing them in the moment, within the safety of MIke’s caring. He accompanies me with warmth and resonance.   And With this support, I find the safety and holding I need in order to express, grieve, process, and experience resolution The camera was accidentally set to capture only Mike’s presence on the video.   But maybe this was actually providential, because we get to see just how Mike shows his caring attentiveness, which signals to me that he is friendly empathic ally, and enables me to share my raw self so openly and vulnerably.

I have been coaching them as they prepare for marriage, Thinking about my final session with them, it’s clear that they’ve been holding feelings of resentment toward each other.   The following is a portion of my follow-up email with them just after their final session with me. (I’ve used only the first letter of their first names here, to protect their anonymity.): ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Resentment is a feeling we get when we believe we are being treated unfairly.   Fairness is important to both of you, (and FYI, the primate brain is wired to value and desire fairness) In addition, I understood that you, J have been feeling ‘controlled or restricted’ which means that you're wanting to feel more freedom, independence and autonomy. This is not something that C can give you. It is something that you must find a way claim for yourself. How can you feel free, and still make choices that support your relationship with C, and the projects and l...