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Emotional Intimacy with Autonomy


Does emotional intimacy require us to lose ourself ? 

Just what allows us to experience Emotionally Secure Human Intimacy? 

An aligned, stable, secure, yet open sense of our Self. A self that  is capable of meeting another with openness, warmth, understanding and  resonance.


It is that deep connection where we feel unguarded. Where we feel safe emotionally, and we trust that we are seen, held, and listened to with respect and care. And we want to be a Self that can embed with others. A self that perceives the feeling state, the experiential state of another, with understanding, caring and compassion. 

We want to be able to be emotionally intimate, emotionally caring, emotional resonant, without losing connection with ourselves. And we want the capacity to care deeply about someone, without feeling responsible to caretake them emotionally. 

What may hold us back from this deep communion is our fear of becoming  enmeshed with another.  This is a condition where we lose our own Self to the other person; where we completely join them in their emotional experience, often believing we must do so in order to meet them where they are. Yet when we enmesh, we lose our own Self, our agency, our own connection and identification with our unique, distinct, autonomous self. 

If you have an insecure Attachment Style or Pattern, building Secure Attachment requires positive corrective experiences, takes time, and takes a willingness to risk trying out new behaviors. 

But before we are willing to risk, we must feel sufficient emotional safety and trust in our relationship with another.  And that sufficient sense of trust and safety with them arises where there is enough warmth, resonance, and attentive caring accompaniment from them. 

Only when you’ve experienced that, can you safely allow yourself to embrace yourself fully; with awareness and self-compassion, and to risk expressing your truest deepest feelings, even when it still feels uncomfortable, and even in their presence.

If this feels challenging for you, allow me to offer you that safety. Let me help you finally experience the comfort, ease and sweet soul nourishment of deep human communion. And show you how to invite it in all your relationships.

I’m Harmony Gates

You can find out about Embodied Connection & Relationship Practices,  

and how I inspire folks like us to live  free, authentic lives of deep connection and aliveness HERE

i invite you to browse my site, and, if you’re willing to take a risk, connect with me for a free connection and consultation call   

Live your FULLEST ALIVENESS (with support)



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